no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
