whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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