Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
