we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
