he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
