didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
