you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
