***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
