She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
