I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
