i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
ttyl tear gas
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
