Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Randomize
