I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
