sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
