3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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