after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Randomize
