Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
