I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
