Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
