So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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