if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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