youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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