those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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