Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
