I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
