dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
why is half of my head shaved?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
