Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
