i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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