she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
