Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
