Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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