sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
