I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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