I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
My cat gives me a boner
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
