i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
