He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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