Fine. I'll sleep in my office
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
