we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
