just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
smell my finger.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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