I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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