It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
