I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
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