i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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