Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
