What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
