Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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