I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
