either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
