Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
