i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
