I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
