how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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