Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
